No Entry

World Cup Football (fever) is over and the Maha Brahma (really his assistant) tells me that few of the earthly beings ended up in his salvo with request to change the honour’s list which he declined until such time the inquiry into the head butting is over. He was annoyed that he gave a big brain to the humans expecting them to use it wisely but not in combat as in head butt. He has set up a commission to investigate how to reduce the brain to a size (manageable in sport) needed for the current century that man including politicians can use  prudently.

Maha is also worried about the free entry of politicians including French Presidents to sport events which they do not have a clue in administering let alone enjoying.

Until such time I have to pen down a current story circulating in the heaven.

It is about a Paraya Dog of Sri-Lanka.

This Paraya Dog of course is a resident of Kandy.

He had been frequenting a large temple, a doctor’s clinic and a lawyer’s residence in his active life. In actual fact he was visiting the rubbish heaps of those concerned.

Unfortunately he is terminally ill from a disease he contracted from the doctor’s rubbish dump.

I am not sure whether it was a dog’s dream or in fact a divine story but it goes on like this.

In his deja-vu state he happened to address the Brahma and the Brahma politely asked him what he wants to be in his next life. The Sandy (the adopted name for this canine specimen because of his muddy colour) of course asked can I be a High Priest in my next round.

The Brahma asked why you want to attain high goals?


Sandy promptly said no Sir, judging by the type of food he eats, his likings are no different from mine he said. Then Brahma said that is not what was intended by the Buddha if you want to be a high priest the minimum code is Dasa Sil and higher and listed all the pre-requisites.

Then Sandy declined saying that I was so faithful in my life I cannot do that.

What about a doctor he asked. That is OK but there is a problem. The doctors have a Code of Conduct and they also tell you don’t eat this and that (cholesterol), don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke and don’t have sex without a condom.


“But my experience is different” by the doctor I was frequenting and Maha promptly said that is typical of Sri-Lankan doctors and they do not practice what they preach just like others.


Then Sandy asked why not a lawyer?


It is OK but there is a hitch. He went on elaborating that lawyers have to frame and pass laws to combat all the vices the doctors and high priests claim and he is inundated with such claims and there are pressure groups claiming that some are violating human as well as animal (if a man want to be an animal like Zidene  Zidane be that so) rights.

Life is not easy on this sunny island he said.


Then Sandy asked can I be your assistant?


Well that is no problem but there is a bit of a problem. As soon as you come here I have to take leave and you are in charge and you have to wait till the Maha comes from his leave of absence.


I thought you are the Maha.


No I am his assistant and I was a Pedigree Dog not worldly wise like you and I promptly accepted his offer as an assistant. Moment I came here he went on vacation but you must know that the vacations here are counted in eons and not in days.


So you are stuck with your faith of the master!

In that case can you cancel my life entry and no entry at all for next round like the next world cup?

It is possible but there is a long waiting queue and you have to wait for at least the next Poya.

Is that OK?


Then Sandy asked why such a delay?


I am in a hurry.


You know I have to check each entry carefully and especially the CVs of all Sri-Lankan applications. There are lot of errors and false declarations it is some what of a dull job. To tell you the truth even my entry had a long list of Pedigree dogs and Maha Brahma had to scrutinize each generation and told me “you not that pure as it claims”.


I told him it is not my fault it is the fault of the master.

He promptly accepted my innocence.


How long is your CV?


Only 4 entries in all Sandy told the Maha’s assistant.


How come?


Paraya, Paraya, Paraya and Faithful are the only entries.

I am sure of my mother but not sure of the father.


Why the hurry?


In a short while the Kandy Perehara is due we would be rounded up and sent to hell by the Kandy Municipality.


Brahma’s assistant asked no more questions and the Sandy’s request was granted promptly and he successfully attained Nibbana.

Who says an intelligent, faithful and trustworthy dog cannot attain Nirvana.

This is not the first in record, the Brahma’s assistant tells me.

PS. Zidane name was incorporated to celebrate the French Independence and no offense to him or France was intended.

14th July 2006
Dr.S.B.Asoka Dissanayake

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