Category Archives: Call of nature

Pelican Story

He was an ex-income tax officer who was seen as good choice for help for Mahanabrahma’s Assistant not only as a Flying Officer but also as a delivery man. Pelicans are known to deliver babies to mums at least when the second one arrives unexpectedly and the first one born asks the silly question from where the hell the second one came.

The pelican come into operational requirement of mothers often in the West but not so much here in Sri-Lanka.

In this context as a delivery man he does not have to deliver babies but all what he has to do is to drop baskets full of documents to sea often containing false declarations made by expectant candidates for their next round of birth and to get favours from Mahabrahma’s Assistant.

 

When he thinks something is cooked up especially coming from Sri-Lanka, the assistant delvers them to the pelican to be dropped to sea so that the ink and all the forgeries are wiped out by the ocean currents ( the ocean can take any rubbish come what it may).

 

On his return pelican has to pick few of them back to heaven and the assistant checks to see if any merits are left tangled with the soggy paper and if not delivers them straight to Appaya (AI) International with a tag number for prompt action.

At AI the soggy paper is irradiated with UV light and then a special black ink is sprayed and that is when all the Papa Karmas are exposed for my equation to take cognizant and automatic reprisal by Apaya authorities.

 

Unlike in the heaven my equation has to be modified when new crimes like that are committed by American investors and speculators are discovered.

Very severe scrutiny is done unlike the Federal Regulators of USA.

The pelican is the go between the Apaya and the Heaven.

In some cases when the documents are landed on high ground or floating ice there is a chance some might escape the sea currents and get a respite but if they are discovered on a subsequent birth it is not the pelican who is punished but the holder of the certificate.

Pelican has no jurisdiction in matters of merits and demerits but only a go between and a mechanism of delaying merits or demerits so that backlog is prevented at the  entry point be that it may be Apaya or Heaven.

 

Pelican navigation skill are considered to be complimentary to the operational mechanics.

 

How he became a trainer Flying Officers was purely an accident by meeting our crab and the tortoise at the lake side.

 

He was offered foreign currency initially by the Air Marshal but when he decided to pay that in Sri-Lankann equivalent of Rupees he really got annoyed since neither Apaya nor Heaven recognize Sri-Lankan Rupees.

 

That is why he deserted the Flying Operations in mid air.

 

I have suggested to remedy this situation soon with a plastic card that automatically converts itself of the credit balance to the currency type moment the airspace of the country is entered but there are few navigational glitches / hitches when the pelican decides to stay in border zones like Palk Straight and the likes.

 

It is currently worn around the pelican neck and it has dual responsibility of location guide and a currency convertor. Once it is tested to Apaya satisfaction it will be used by our pelican and he may decide to return to his substantive post on Earth but that is all at his discretion.

1. Why I do not use a cell phone

I have more than 100 reasons why I do not have or use a cell phone

I will list them as they come to my mind but not in any order of priority,

As an intern I hated a call since it meant, a batch of new arrival of small kids who have arrived in absolutely appalling condition. Some of them fitting due to low blood sugar nearing zero.

In fact I had 8 t0 10 kids whose blood sugar and CSF sugar zero.

The government at that time told the public it was encephalitis and I proved them wrong without even my medical registration completed. Then in 6 months later when I went to collect my own data they had disappeared mysteriously from, medical records.

Then what I did subsequently, I have to pen down on a latter date of my life nearing my death!

One thing was sure leave I decided to leave the Public Sector Health Service and I was glad I did that and if you read Dengue Dilemma elsewhere in my writings, one can easily guess it.

It has deteriorated in quality even though it has expanded in number.

  1. As a doctor I hated bad news on telephone. We rarely hear good news when on duty.
  2. Later in life when cell phone came I believed in CPP (Calling Party Pays) and flatly refused a cell phone.
  3. It is a public nuisance
  4. It is a nuisance when the cell phone owner has switched it off when you really needed him
  5. When you travel on a public transport one cannot have a snooze to drown the inconvenience with frequent interruptions. I love silence in public places.
  6. Even though I don’t use it I have to foot the bill (kids telephone bills)
  7. No work get done in public officers. They are busy answering their private call of nature and it is more frequent than the real call of nature.
  8. It is cheaper to redirect a message by email that should  end up as junk or gossip.
  9. We use it for gossip not for creative work
  10. It is private enemy one when you own the bank or telephone company a small sum in arrears and the reminders by them cost you more than you actually own them. I think you got the picture correct.
  11. I think it is enough for today but I will add more on future date when I run short of a topic to write.