Category Archives: Politricks

Toilet Paper Catching Fire

There is a story circulating in Colombo Diplomatic Circles that a certain UNO Officer investigating or perhaps observing war crimes being enacted in his subjective presence was given a hot meal of Nai Miris (Cobra Chillies) as his taste.

The entree went like this.

He was told it was a Sri-Lankan top class delicacy that war heroes on both sides of the divide partake before their final assault.

Once you partake a little, then do not feel any other pain even due to gross injuries and it is also a mood elevating and quite similar to Onions for Indians.

He was quite take up by the introduction, instead of tasting a little he avail himself of a liberal quantity as it were a Dhana Festival in a temple and had to rush to the toilet.

Whatever, he did in the toilet did not allay his misery and he decided to pull a fag inside the toilet.

Moment he triggered the lighter there was a big bang and accidentally he lit the toilet roll too.

The flash of fire, smoke and the big bang alerted the security thinking that there was a bomb.

Surprisingly the young diplomat emerged without any significant injury or burns and in his flight and fright the burning sensation due to Nai Miris disappeared, instantaneously.

But he started running towards the back entrance and the fire exit.

The security officer thought he was a terrorist and followed suit.

He shouted stop.

I am UNO and BunKi Moon Man he said in his flight.

Eventually the security caught up with him.

When inquired he said there is a bomb in the toilet.

By that time one of the environmentalist emerged from the crowd and said his capsule worked wonders!

Everybody was puzzled.

Then he said he put a capsule of biogas making strain into the toilet before the meeting to test whether UNO officers consuming enormous natural resources of the friendly countries could produce biogas during a meeting.

And their shit or the scat can produce enough was his test finding with one capsule.

Now he is trying to patent his discovery to solve the energy crisis of today.

 

U.N.O

Well we tend to be very reflective in old age and lament on the past.

Instead of the obituaries we should look at the birthdays.

Dead are gone perhaps leaving behind good memories, perhaps not.

Living in the past is not the way forward.

Past unfortunately tend to harbour all the thoughts of ill will and hate.

Digging into the past of miseries, war and death has made this nation to be very negative.

It is unfortunate even the United Nations Organization is also live in the past.

They cannot see the present devastation in the East with floods and they are good at counting the number of dead of the war past.

They are not making any attempt to make the life meaningful for the survivors of the ruthless war.

The survivors have water up to their neck but UNO is not ready to give a lifeboat or a raft to them but ready to spend countless dollars in counting the ruthless dead bodies of hate , violence and ill will.

They perpetuate ill will and difference instead of uniting and bridging the gaps. They are trapped in the vicious propaganda not knowing how to wade off or avoid conflict of interests.

How can they be called astute negotiators if they are trapped to the neck with propaganda of ill will?

When is UNO going to learn lessons from the past and prevent future catastrophes, I wonder?

When are they going to live in the present moment?

It is better to look at the present moment of truth.

It is far better to look at the present moment instead of the past or the future.

People who are in the present moment and reflective are the ones who makes companionship meaningful, even at the death bed.

We must make the present moment infectious even to the young and those going to be born.

That’s all we are sure of having.

That is the only way for reconciliation.

We need to learn how to forget the past, make amends and make the present moment beautiful.

They are trying hard to make even the present moment very miserable and are paid for that effort.

The are a very depressive lot!

The money spent by UNO is an utter waste and loss.

They do not know how to move forward.

They have put themselves shackles around their feet and grumble instead of releasing them of their bondage to evil.

 



Present Moment of Truth and U.N.O.

Well we tend to be very reflective in old age and lament on the past.

Instead of the obituaries we should look at the birthdays.

Dead are gone perhaps leaving behind good memories, perhaps not.

Living in the past is not the way forward.

Past unfortunately tend to harbour all the thoughts of ill will and hate.

Digging into the past of miseries, war and death has made this nation to be very negative.

It is unfortunate even the United Nations Organization is also live in the past.

They cannot see the present devastation in the East with floods and they are good at counting the number of dead of the war past.

They are not making any attempt to make the life meaningful for the survivors of the ruthless war.

The survivors have water up to their neck but UNO is not ready to give a lifeboat or a raft to them but ready to spend countless dollars in counting the ruthless dead bodies of hate , violence and ill will.

They perpetuate ill will and difference instead of uniting and bridging the gaps. They are trapped in the vicious propaganda not knowing how to wade off or avoid conflict of interests.

How can they be called astute negotiators if they are trapped to the neck with propaganda of ill will?

When is UNO going to learn lessons from the past and prevent future catastrophes, I wonder?

When are they going to live in the present moment?

It is better to look at the present moment of truth.

It is far  better to look at the present moment instead of the past or the future.

People who are in the present moment and reflective are the ones who makes companionship meaningful, even at the death bed.

We must make the present moment infectious even to the young and those going to be born.

That’s all we are sure of having.

That is the only way for reconciliation.

We need to learn how to forget the past, make amends and make the present moment beautiful.

They are trying hard to make even the present moment very miserable and are paid for that effort.

The are a very depressive lot!

The money spent by UNO is an utter waste and loss.

They do not know how to move forward.

They have put themselves shackles around their feet and grumble instead of releasing them of their bondage to evil.

Addiction

There are many addiction in our lives.

An that addiction varies from person to person and my addiction is if not computers it is certainly Linux.

It is based on innovation and knowledge.

It is also has strong political an social motives.

It is the copyright and exploitation. If I say I am not politically motivated it is not true. Any social activity has political roots, so is mine.

It used to be an addiction (not me) of our voters to go and vote and upset the apple cart of power brokers. It is no more.

The area basis and proportional representation has changed the electoral system and body politics upside down..

Almost 48% did not vote at the last general election.

Any many more won’t  turn up this time around allowing the people who manipulate voting system to have a field day including the counters doing the counting.

Even we have and electronic system of voting the followers of the powerful parties will find a way to engineer something marvelous to get the result they anticipate well in advance of the day of the elections.

Even the polling of surveys could be engineered the way one asks the question and present the data.

With all these facts the voters are beginning to ask the question it it worth the exercise?

The answer is in the negative.

Then who is addicted with polling and elections?

There is a very simple answer.

It is the one who is elected,

It is he/she who gets the image bloated.

Voter get deflated soon after and the promises disappear into thin air,

The vicious cycles begins another round.

This time it has come to spoil the Cricket World Cup.

Average voter want some escape route. I am pretty sure it won’t be acceded by the powerful and the one who wields the clout.

It is another “Merry Go Round” in this country in which people have lost humour and ability to laugh at the selfish self- i.e; oneself.

 

Punchlines, Punch Bags (Boxing Bags). Punch Balls, Kick Bags and Kickbacks with Punch and Judy

Election is all over and every conceivable lie had being utilized for gains.

It is miracle that I survived without hearing loss since the decibel range was higher than the pitch I was used to.

Sometimes I think it is a blessing to be either deaf or blind or both.

Since I am not either this is to revive Punch and Judy not in his style but in boxing style.

It is strange to note that Punch and Judy characters never used Boxer the kids friendly dog nor the the real boxing characters like Cassius Clay (Mohammed Ali), probably fearing American backlash.

I am writing this not expecting any kickbacks from any living soul or any British soul sent to hell by Punch but I have to use English for the strength of the Punch but in boxing style.

I am not even light weight and not even super flyweight to have the physical (I was super bantamweight when I was abroad and having being here for over 5 years gone below the fly weight category without even having a crash course in dieting) presence felt in the ring.

I have to use the English punchlines (send our Buddhist MPs including monks to heaven – not to hell like in UK for them to evoke blessing for the millions of voters who are practically missing a meal-according to health Ministry statistics the never starve; they actually follow the Buddhist monks principle of eating once a day to go to heaven since Sri-Lanka is not the heaven or paradise that it was known to be) instead for posterity.

The boxing categories including light weight was used by me to address the issue I have with the Microsoft / Open Office Office Package/s which is /are always super heavyweight and tax my computer’s limited resources including RAM.

Since I use Linux for my work I do many things (unlike Microsoft windows) once at the same time (watching Football World Cup-not cricket now- do a distribution download while I do some pep writings like this) and the speed is a factor I rely for efficiency.

I use Abiword Light sometime which is portable too.

I have extended this to my Linux100 writing elsewhere in the Google’s blogspot- just type asoka and paraox- you are instantly there and I want the Linux Developers to produce Light Weight (700 MiB. Middle Weight is 1700 MiB and anything above is Heavy Weight (especially the commercial versions that tax resources even at boot time) and sometimes useless to say the least.

Just to take some respite from somewhat taxing job (100 is a big issue at my age, even though I have already 200 distributions in my USB hard disc) of testing and writing reviews for the wider web users.

I take life at an easy pace now!

To begin with my Punch Code (in computer terminology) we must have a nurse and a doctor appointed to the parliament.

The should weigh all new MPs (do not do that with the old foxes they are too heavy that the spring of the balance will break without any spring of surprises) now and every three months over the next 6 years and send that data to the Central Bank / World Bank and the WHO (Sinhalen whoooo) as real data.

They must be categorized according to the weight class of the boxers and see how they progress from flyweight to super heavyweight both in weight and money in no time.

Real progress of the country.

My argument for this is that our parliament truly represents the wishes of the population in real terms and numbers. It truly feel the pulse of the people and rule of the law but not the rulers image.

If we have donkeys in this country surely they should be represented there.

Then we must have an annual contest in front of the Diyawana Oya and get Indian actors to come and face them weight by weight.

Our voters can be used as the Punch Bags or Boxing Bag (it is done almost everyday if you look at the government TV Channel).

It is worth while that they must send a random sample of weight from school leavers for comparison.

But I think that is a waste since our Central Bank has the knack of manipulating any real data into abstruse elements for it to be presented at the Budget at any time of the day or night or if necessary for IMF’s consumption.

 

But my real punch line is not for the new MPs.

It is for the Ministers who were newly appointed.

It looks as if they are used as the Punch Bags especially the Foreign Minister.

I do not wish who uses them as the Punch Bags.

It is a top secret except for one who is always vociferous in Sinhala for the cameras and destroy anything foreign except the oil he wears on his head.

If seems that boxers use kick balls and kick bags.

I like both of them (kick bag and kick ball) and in football style I can kick them in their vestiges!

Asoka

3rd July., 2010

Paradox-03

Geopolitics is changing
And especially so
In SriLankan terms
And its demographic
Activities and outcomes

I fail to understand
Why the so called
Political pundits
Educated only in Sinhala
Especially the journalist and media
Have failed to recognize
The fact of life
Of current politics

Nearly 4 million voters
Have not utilized
The franchise
This time around
Which is nearly 30%
Who have no trust
On the system
Or the system has failed
To recognize
Their need to participate
As living souls

If I break this down
Further
1.5 million
Which is 75%
Of the Tamil vote
Disowned
And turned a blind eye
To their aspirations

That is 15%
Of the total population

Nearly 50%
Of the Muslim community
Which add up to
Half a million
Abstained from voting

In other words
Nearly 20%
Of the ethnic minority
Did not engage
In participatory democracy

Why is this indifference
In our 5 Star democracy?

2 millions
Of the Sinhala majority
Especially the young
And the first time voters
For some reason or the other
Have not participated
In this activity
In spite of the
Freedom gained from
The ruthless conflict
Of violence

Abstained
And no true participation!

When we add
The little over 4 million
Who voted against
The ruling majority
Staggering figure
Of 8 million
Which is almost
60% of the total
Have no leader or leaders

This is an aberration
Which the Professor Edward De Bone
Highlights in his new wisdom book
“Think before it is too late”
Meant for the new millennium
Of geopolitics

A lateral thinking
In true practice

The fact of the matter
Of our democracy is
That the 40%
Of the vociferous extremists
Of the ruling elite
Run the show
Disregarding
The silent majority

My guess is that,
Come the Sinhala and Tamil New Year
Another 1 million
Will not vote
Adding the number
Of disenchanted mass
To over 5 million
Of the total electorate
Which is staggering 40%

In actual fact
Over 6 million (43%)
Twice as much
As my forecast
Did not participate
But doing shopping
For the New Year
Instead of polling

Edited on the 10th of April

Paradox-01

In democracy
It is the voter
That matters.

But not so
In our democracy.

It is the elected
That matters.

That also the highest!

The lowest of all
The House of
Not so commoners
Does matter
As mouth pieces
Of democracy
But subservient
To the dictates
Of the party boss