Category Archives: Type Of Sri-Lankan Buddhists

Cock Screw Violation and Cork Screw Solution Popping Out

This is the Month of Wesak where universal brotherhood is talked about.

This universal friendship should be extended to animals too but I find when I classify according to current philosophical tenants there is some discrepancy and discrimination of animals especially the birds we love to be consumed on a Christmas eve.

There is a perception that Buddhists are classified according to Mahayana and Hinayana.

I believe that this was a very ancient classification and is out of touch with modernity and we need a proper and investigative classification for the modern century when some prophecies are claiming that the end of the world is near as year 2012.

If I do not do this before this May (before end of the World) I feel I am doing some injustice to Sri-Lankan history in record.

My period of investigation is little over 50 years and I was a little brat barely able to understand the logic’s of modern Buddhism.

According to my classification there are about 10 to 20 varieties of Buddhists in this country.

I will list the first 10 that come to my mind and a good reader may add the last 10.

1. Eggo (eggs and not ego-there is no ego in true Buddhism) Buddhists
This is something as a little brat not even going to nursery school I have heard and seen at first hand.
There was an intense debate over eating eggs before and during 1956 and the eggo Buddhists won the day.
Their argument was that we Buddhists can eat eggs as long as we eat the eggs not fertilized by a cock.

This is where cock’s right to sex is violated; not any cock but the bird’s variety.
We are cock sure that every egg we eat is not fertilized before our consumption and we can see it through the shell with some meditative instint.

This is where cocks rights are violated by default and cocks are not allowed to screw since if they do that we Buddhists won’t be able eat eggs.

This is the cork screw solution we extend to non-Buddhist rearing animals (for our consumption and if we Buddhist are not there to consume the products they lose a livelihood) and birds for food.

The logic pops out like a cork screw of a campaign bottle.

With this point of confirmation we Buddhist over the next 50 years evolved the modern Buddhism to even kill fellow beings in the name of a Nation and National build up.

2. Then came the Mujja Pama Dharshaya which culminated during the period of Mrs. Kumaranatunge where the highest amount of alcohol was on sale and produced except wine.
This is coming out of the 5 precepts where one takes intoxicating beverages and depends on one’s liver’s powerful enough mechanism to detoxify them and as long as one does not show signs of intoxication it is not a bad thing. (little bit is OK)
The rationale here is one must train the liver to identify alcohol early enough ideally during pregnancy and then when the big match (cricket the national game) comes one must train the teenagers to indulge on it. If the training is done early one can consume alcohol even on the Dalada Perehara (except elephants on 4 legs) and specially on May Day Perehara.

3. The third one is the most powerful economic wise. Arogyasala Lottery or the Hospital Lottery and this has now progressed into Lotto Game and extend even up to World Cup and I.P.L cricket and bidding of players.

4. Then come the Casino. The owner can be a Buddhist as long as the players are not Buddhists.

All the above are for the powerful Buddhist in the Colombo 7 and around.

5. Sri-Lankan Ego Buddhists with copyright to Thera-Vada.
Now that the sole authority (copyright) on Buddhism is on Sinhalayas and there is a category of Buddhists who protect the copyright of Buddhism (without practising precepts and principles) of Theravada, come what it may and promote practices exclusively mentioned below and resistant to spread of Buddhism to other nations and countries and monopolizes Theravada (spreading Vada or argument for this monopoly for commercial consumption).

The rest of the five are for the followers.

6. Bodhi Puja Variety and is the most popular one.
This is the category who get round the Bodhi or the sacred pipal tree (not papal or pupal or phallus) chanting and pouring milk on it roots (which leads to rotting of the aeriel roots and the tree prefers dry or arid soil with roots growing very deep in search of underground water).
This chanting done without understanding the difference of water and milk to a living tree.

7. The Chicken Buddhists
The next variety is the most common. If you ask them do you eat meat. They say no, no and not for beef but if you prompt and what about fish and chicken, They come out with the circular theory and logic that broilers live for 42 days and if it was killed on the 41st day and we actually contribute to its welling and it’s misery terminated and helps them to evolve into better life next lime by making a hungry human being happy at meal time.

This was the best philosophical tenant that evolved from eggo-Buddhists to modern tech and computer Buddhists.

The answer for fish is fodder for another fish in the food chain and Man is the last in that chain because we are terrestrial and the fish on a muddy pool is saved from cranes and they have no business to be on our soil or terrestrial footing anyway.

8. The next is the confused Buddhist like me where part of me is ancient Buddhist thinking and the other part is modern but with age catching up with my intellectual interpretation I am becoming more and more of an ancient Buddhist good for an ornamented coffin, in ferw years time.

The last two if I try to explain fully I will be expelled from this blessed country like the Buddhist monk who wrote poems instead of Gatha in ancient times, the Vidhagama Rahula Thera who ended up as saint in Mumbai.

9. Political Buddhists in the Parliament

10. National Buddhists in the Army

11. International Buddhists

12. and above are the emerging Buddhists from ashes (of ruined practices) of Phoenix, some of whom are already in Parliament and devising various means to make Buddhism more and more difficult to understand and is good only for foreigners (international Buddhism but not for simple practice-practicing Buddhists) with various cults.