Monthly Archives: January 2013

Dog Talks and Banker’s Dream

Dog Talks and Banker’s Dream

This story was long overdue.

This I extracted from a dog banker or more or less from a banker’s dog.

I went to ask for an overdraft facility to pay my Telephone, Electricity and Water bills for the month of December from a commercial bank.

It was a Friday and I went very early, even before the bank was open.

You know, in spite of many banks and many facilities one has to wait in the queue to get one’s own money.

But if one has to get money from the bank, one has to wait longer in the queue.

Then the questions they ask before extending whatever the facility they release you on bail like procedure, I wish I am dead and on a different planet.

Because I was early, I had nothing else to do but to watch the procedure of opening the bank diligently.

There was a big.

There was a big security guard wearing a big beard.

The officer of a lower rank who comes was not there yet.

When I entered, the dog had a little sniff at me and ignored me as nothing of worth and he knew at a glance I was not a bank thief.

Mind you these dogs are trained to detect thieves and rich people only.

I did fall into neither.

The dog looked tired, a bit restless and profusely salivating and the security guard looked obviously in a panic mode.

The officer of a lower rank did come and immediately followed by the manager of the bank.

Anyway, I knew the manager very well and he promptly extended the credit facility and I was off on the street in a flash having exchanged Christmas and New Year greetings.

He even told me that the bank officers are the only ones who never get greeting cards or chocolates.

But my scientific observation even though brief was the reason for the discovery of this story I am going to tell you, now.

During our industrial action I developed a little gadget using Raspberry Pi, the latest IT gadget on ARM base (not Microsoft fortunately) on the market, one can modify to one’s own taste from media centre to a server utility.

I decided to record dogs’ dreams and their talks.

Since, the ARM is open source, I have decided not to apply for any industry award as the creation of this century.

Reason being if we record all what dogs talk about bankers, economic experts and politicians, I will be executed by a special decree.

You will get a rare glimpse of only a randomly random but aberrant sample of it.

This gadget works only a short wireless distance but a considerable distance over frequencies what dogs can detect but humans cannot.

If had used wireless distance, I had to go behind dogs and no dog will relate any story privy to them, if I follow them on street talks, fearing their extinction from this planet.

Dogs talks are honest and their dreams are very simple unlike our politicians, fortunately.

I set up a big antenna covering my sphere of activity and the few banks around me.

I had to scan over about a week to get a proper story, since there were much mundane stories from Paraya dogs talking about their meagre supply in dustbins and there were only a few Bank Dogs.

Finally, I got hold of, the dog who belonged to this particular bank strangely on street with another Paraya dog.

It was an illuminating story.

The Paraya started the dog talk.

Are you on holiday?

Nope.

You will be sacked from your job know?

I will be, if I do not find my girl friend.

Why?

I put her as my replacement or decoy and she did not turn up today.

That is why I am on the street, can the help me?

NO PROBLEM.

Can you describe the one, I have many girl friends which I have lost count of.

How many have you?

One regular and only a few others since I cannot get leave from duty to roam about.

Then, he said I know this particular one, she is not  a Paraya variety anyway but cross between pedigree and Paraya.

I will take you to her but what is around your neck?

It does not look like a dog collar or a belt but a necklace.

I do not see bankers wearing artificial metal except gold nowadays with gold prices sky high!

No it is not a necklace but security keys of the bank.

I am taking them to my girl friend and she delivers it to the guard and both of are safe then.

It is very naughty know, the bank is at risk know?

No as long as the keys are with dogs.

It is the humans one cannot trust.

I am also sure he will not sleep in his post till he finds the keys.

When I am their he sleeps and I am doing a service to my master, the bank by this method.

She goes there first and get half of my meal and I immediately follow after his anger towards me had disappeared.

You are very brainy know?

That is what I am a Bank Dog.

 I must tell you I have edited a lot of this story since getting a scanned story is difficult since the dogs are always on the move and they go through various routes and routines with many obstacles including magnetic devices installed.

It is not like reading a Sunday paper where from editorial to news to features are doctored.

Then I have to convert the frequencies in them to analogue and word form and many traces are lost and lot of pauses in between.

Unlike human dogs do not keep on talking and they do other things in between which we are familiar with.

I will detour here and few lines on bankers dreams which are retold by dogs while listening to their conversations after heavy drinks.

The dreams are not like my dreams and no need to send them to Maha for interpretations.

They are very simple and only a very few.

One dream is becoming a director of a bank and not a bank officer when one does not have to work.

Other is getting a post in a foreign bank.

They are so real they cannot be categorized as real dreams.

Now I will give in summary form the way a bank security guard works from the data analysed from Raspberry Pi modified.

1. They are very good in sleeping on  duty hours like most of our security guards on duty.

2. They feed the dog half the quota due for the dog.

The better half he eats.

Nowadays his food is no better from dog food.

3. He buys liqueur from the saved money since their pay is no better.

4. Then he goes to sleep while the half hungry dog does his part of the job.

5. That is why they devised a plot to get out of this boredom but made sure that the friend dog stays on guard till the official dog returns after roaming.

The guard who is drunk and doped could not say who is his dog or who the Paraya dog except when he/she is awake.

This is the way both Paraya dogs and pedigree dogs coexist on this small state where money is everything and duty is not

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State without a Religion, the Faith, Fate and Fanaticism would Fail us.

State without a Religion, the Faith, Fate and Fanaticism would Fail us.

Have you ever thought of a state  without a religion?

Yes it is possible.

In the mind’s world it is quit possible to attain this level of independence, however powerful the governing power state may be.We have been going through this process mentally over very long period, the next stage would be a state (or states) without religion.

Signs are obvious even in a small state like Sri-Lanka.

Even though,  we have many religions we are functionally a state without a religion.

I won’t elaborate on this any more except stating how justice is being done in this state.

Yes, criminals coexist with religious dignitaries in our parliament.

That is not an over statement.

However theses religious dignitaries are either oblivious to the fact or shamelessly disregard the consequences considering their personal perks in high office.

So the climate is right for a change.

There are already people who belong to rationalistic groups.

I personally do not believe they would contribute statistically significant role.

They belong to a highly intelligent group of people who see that there is conflict in what they perceive as is right and what they see as in practice is wrong.

They try to bring objectivity to this scenario but there is no subjectivity as far as the growing number of followers are concerned.This is simply because their approach is an intellectual one of high quality which cannot be sustained at grass root level where the intellectual capacity is limited.

What I am discussing is this average minded majority who become alienated with how religions practice their dogma without adherence to basic tenet of human equality and justice.

For an example if a religion states that one who kills an infidel, he or she goes to heaven is not tenable in modern day of justice and fair play.

It becomes more relevant if the same group does not believe life after death or rebirth.

Even, rebirth is a concept that cannot be validated by substantial evidence.

I am bringing these two extreme examples to bring the spectrum into light in like minded thinkers but not to ignite “flame war” as seen in Linux communities.

So with world wide web taking over human communication by the scruff of the neck, an avalanche is ready to befall on mankind.

My writing it here not to say it is right or wrong but to sate that it is slowly emerging and we are not ready for it.

We have not got enough philosophers to take the void.

Yes mankind had few philosophers over 3000 years ago, before the religion emerged as a dominant force.

What I am saying is when the religion falls and fails as a dominant force we have no similar development in sight to cling onto.

Mankind needs something to embrace and cushion over this period.

The world wide web is not the right medium, even though every one of us is in it already.

I see this as a failure in our eduction system from preschool to primary school.

What will happen is that even morality outside religious conventions would fail.

All the signs are visible in this small country and we are not ready of its outcome.

Faith, Fate and Fanaticism would Fail us.

Even the very democracy and governance are failing us.

The political systems are failing to see  this predicament and the emerging context.

It is going to bust in some form or other.

Let me dispose the few of the state that practised without a religion and how they fared.

China comes to my mind first.

Its rigid enforcement of family planning that forced couples to commit infanticide is a case in point.

Economic concerns and poverty took its toll.

Yin and Yang was not practised in essence.

It was same fate in Russia.

It got involved in superpower mentality in the cold war period disregarding the average masses.

It led to corruption and breakdown of the communist empire.

Both these countries concentrated on economy before people and what ever gained did not filter down to the average masses.

But corruption rules the higher echelon.

In the last 50 years they did not of institute a system take over the region.

They ruling party became the religion and there was no alternative for the ruling party.

The system drags on while embracing open economy in a closed system of administration.

There is no new developments but increasing dissolution among the average person without any outlet to express the inbuilt frustration.

All these are symptoms of a state without a religion.

That make people to embrace many personal ideologies and beliefs but won’t make the emergence of new religions or religious leaders.

Not only they dislike the system in place and lose faith in religion too.

The system without religion continuous without any alternative strategies and the money becomes the driving force.

It is a communist state with capitalistic mentality.

Now takes a populous country, like India.

It is country with many religions and the division of Pakistan, Bangladesh and India is based not only on land but religion.

It has many problems, the women have no place and female child is an outcast.

Equally there is caste system that divides people but fortunately it is not rigidly tagged to the religion but to birth of a person or heritage.

What will take us to the next phase?

That is my question.

This trend will become increasingly visible in the next 30 years which is a generation gap in my scale of predictions.

I will be not there to see it fortunately.

I had a belief that Buddhism will stand to this emerging trend at least in this country.

But my observation is, now that the monks in robes have taken politics as a way of life and survival, it cannot stand on own grounds to the rigours of emerging trends.

At the moment some elements are already arousing the very essence of tolerance that is embedded in its core.

It cannot be compared with Bible War but it is as bad as any hegemony that preceded it

Dream 29 and its interpretation-2013

Dream 29 and its interpretation-2013

It is a new Dream

It is fortunately a public holiday, I woke up very, very late.

In fact, it was after three attempts by my dog telling me, it is pretty late in the day, as far as he was concerned.

Why don’t you wake up?

That was his message.

He has got used to a good routine with me all because of our prolong industrial action, he knows all my routines by heart.

He never put his front feet on the bed but he did it toady to see whether I was really late but not dead on my sleep.

I had a nice long dream too.

Thanks to his interruptions I can remember it very well to relate it here.

I have to take a little detour this time round, not sending it to Maha Brahma first and come back with an interpretations.

In fact, I have not had any communication with him for a long time.

He will have a very long list of questions and a prolong interview (internet chat wise and not a direct contact with him-for those of you who do not know my modus operandum) and I should have quick answers and with the Sri-Lankan Telecom as slow as it is, to respond to his celestial contacts, not having a satellite of it own.

It is a big toll.

I do not want the readers to stay for another day.

The interpretation and the long internet chat I will have with him, I should pen down later.

For a change, I want you to interpret it, in your own ways in the mean time.

The Dream

The dream goes backs to about 50 years.

It was in the Peradeniya Campus.

It was in the evening and I was doing my own jog around the campus.

I was on the side of our physiology don’s house, who was a burgher gentleman.

I climbed a little soil mound and peeped over the window to see whether the madam was in to tease her.

To my horror she got into a panic mode and loudly said,

“Leela, the thief has come, catch him”.

Leela is the wife of another don in the Faculty of Arts.

She got hold of a broomstick (that is the recognized weapon and no T-56 then) and moved sideways and I followed her instinct for a few steps and quickly took a about turn and ran behind her house and the neighbour’s house, knowing well if I enter her front compound I could be caught, perhaps with a broomstick in her hand too.

I took a detour and came round by another route to see Mrs. Leela was coming down across another alleyway with a big pole in her hand.

I took to my feet swiftly like a horse and was down a steep hill that lead to a small paddy (yes we had a little paddy filed inside the campus then) field.

When I approached there well away from my attackers, I decided to have a pause to catch my breath and little peace in my mind.

I was in a pensive mood when a middle age woman approached me clad in muddy cloth with some kind of grass in her hand.

I thought she was cutting grass for the cow she had (yes we had cows in the campus then).

She asked me whether I was an undergraduate.

I said, Yes.

Then she asked me whether I know the Vice Chancellor personally.

I did not know what to say.

Those days the VC is such a big stature, we undergraduates have no contact with him, unless we have done something very nasty and grave that we get a resound warning without any inquiry or criminal court.

I did not want to accept my predicament but said to her I knew him very well.

She said, “Aiyyoh Mahathaya Ahenum Baridha Ahanna Thawa Kananayakata Wapuranna Denna Kiyala”.

Could you please ask him whether she can have another season of paddy cultivation instead of the special grass she was asked to grow.

I asked her what is this all about.

She told me that she was asked to lay the special type of grass on her paddy field instead of cultivating rice.

I asked, Why?

“Ane Maha Ragina Enawane”.

Queen is visiting the country.

I told her I would try to and had a few seconds pause to gather my composure and make good the fundamental error of “Peeping Tom” behaviour.

I walked back the long route I had taken back to the house of our don.

On my way, I found the long pole ,Leela had dropped and I wanted to return it back in case she needs it.

As I was walking up with the pole in hand, I saw VC coming down the lane.

There was no way of avoiding him.

I raised the pole as I was carrying a flag on top of it.

I walked toward him bravely and the second running to escape him was not in my mind.

He came down slowly with a majestic imposing posture.

He was wearing a British hat.

He paused having come down to where I was.

I had become stationary by that time with the pole erect on my hand.

As he approached me I lowered it as if I was a pole vault jumper.

Are you practising how to carry a flag on a pole.

I said, No.

I was practising pole vault, I said.

I ordered a new one from England.

It is very heavy and of British standard, I told him.

This is of the correct weight for me.

Then he said, I see about your need anyway.

Thank you, Sir.

Where are you taking it?

I said “to whom it belongs”.

He said Good Old Boy.

By now I knew, I was in a good working relationship with the VC, I took the courage to ask the question that poor lady could not ask from him.

Sir, May, I may, make a request for somebody.

Who is that somebody?

He was very attentive and inquisitive.

I said I met that woman and she wanted another season for rice cultivation.

That cannot be done he said abruptly.

Then, I looked at him very politely and said rice takes only three and half months to maturity and the grass only half that time and the Queen is coming one year from now and there is enough time to do all that.

Is that so?

You seem to know quite a lot, “are you an agriculture student”.

No Sir, I am  a Medical Student and put a little substance to my pole carrying adventure.

Then he said go and tell her she can have even two seasons but by the time Queen is here there should be a posh growth of green grass over there.

Then he went onto say if I see you carrying poles instead of looking after patients, I will make you a pole bearer of the university and not in the parliament.

That is the type of environment we had when we were in the University.

It is quite different now.

I walked up to the house and met the lady and handed over the pole.

She was puzzled.

She had seen me in a bit of a long conversation with VC and she did not know what to say.

Then I went to the house of our burgher don and talked to the lady as nothing improper has happened.

She invited me for a cup of tea with cookies, which was my original intention which was interrupted by her panic and commotion that followed.

I cannot remember how many lies I told her over the cup of tea.

That was a survival need as a young undergraduate, otherwise we would have been expelled within the first term of our academic year, if everybody knew what we did off academic hours.

The lady was a typical Victorian type.

I told her, if I was her, I would not invite the VC for a cup of tea if my teacher was not at home.

She did not ask why?

Then, I said, VC was trying to enter the neighbour house’s from back door and he detoured having seen me with the pole.

Is that so?

Yes, I said loudly.

Mind you that was the biggest lie on that day.

By that time, I have begun to hate Leela for carrying a big pole to hit me instead of a broomstick.

Everybody, knew VC was a ladies man and there were enough in the Art Faculty to prey at that time but not in the Medical Faculty.

We exchanged pleasantries and I was a regular visitor and she was like real aunt to me.

She is no more but probably in heaven.

Now this one is for you.

How many lies in total.

Unlike politicians who lie for a living in broad day light I am entitled to lies in my dreams.

If you can help me to count them.

I have lost count of them.

Dream is a good recipe for people like me and we have this satisfaction of lying in our deep sleep mode.

That is why dream are for us and not for politicians.

I am told that the politicians see their lies in their own sleep get terrified and wake up ever so often not knowing how to coin the next lie.

I will come back with Maha interpretation of this dream very soon.

Maha Brahma’s Interpretation

As I promised I sent the above dream by email to Maha just after my very late light dinner.

He promptly replied.

We had a long interrogation.

It went on like this and some bits and pieces are edited and summarized to make it shorter.

He wanted an explanation for me not sending any dream for over one year for interpretation.

I said it is a very short space in his timing but it was a horrible year for me.

He was taken aback with my reply.

I said I did not want to send some boring and mundane facts.

1. The world was supposed to end by December.

Did you believe it?

I said, NO,

Then why?

All the others believed it.

2. Then we had a long industrial action.

Did you want to get a salary increase before the end of the world?

Yes and No.

Yes, some of our young union guys believed that it is better to enjoy a salary increase before the end of the world.

The vagabonds like me never believed that they will increase anything and also predicted that it is a long drawn out affair and painful too.

Did you get a substantial increase.

NOPE!

3. I did not want to share my intellectual property, that included my dreams during that period.

It is improper to share the intellect when one is on strike.

It is a bane in academic circles.

You thought I will leak the dreams to the media?

No, no, nothing like that.

I trust you.

It is my memory and email habits.

If I posted those dreams by internet, I won’t have any to share with my fellow beings at the end of the strike.

I am losing my memory a bit and I even momentarily forgot my emails passwords.

How come?

I have never had such a long time away from work, really not working, I started enjoying life, in spite of no money in my pocket.

With this loose habit I started forgetting and was sleeping a lot.

Do you record my dreams.

No my dear.

Do you have good memory.

No my dear.

There you are, that justify my position.

But then, I have no fun in between, Know?

Did you dream a lot?

To tell you the truth not a lot.

Why?

When somebody is off work he or she gets a good sleep without dreams.

So you dream a lot when you work.

Yes, that is why I am coming back to you.

It is long time after the settlement, you would have had some dreams.

4. Yes I stored them in summary form for year 2013.

That is naughty of you.

No, no there were other reasons.

In history when they reflect on humans on year 2012, there will be a lot of the theories to record and my dream won’t have any currency.

That is a very good point.

Have you got enough for a book?

Yes but not until I get your interpretation.

I will be posting at least one a month from now onward.

THANK YOU.

5. Then we had this CJ affair.

What is it all about.

I do not understand Sir.

They call the law is an ASS or ARSxxxxxx.

Is it TRUE.

Yes as far as Sri-Lanka is concerned.

The dreams during this period was all political dreams.

Nothing worth recording.

It is not realistic to talk about those dreams.

Why?

I. On the one hand, it is the breach of trust and contempt of court.

One can go to prison.

II. Then on the other hand one is breaking the parliamentary privileges.

One will go to hell on earth if one breaches the parliamentary privileges.

III. Then there is the constitution to interpret.

If the dream is not according to the constitutional requirements one is not able to publish it in a proper intellectual forum.

It is very complicated know?

It is not like that.

We make simple things like fair play a complicated issue.

Then we make complicated issue like sacking somebody for no reason with academic credentials but no prudence what we need is a simple majority and a simple signature.

How did you digest all these.

I cannot.

That is why I am not a lawyer but a simple doctor who knows pain, suffering, anguish and loss of face and faith of ordinary people.

How is your dog?

That was very unexpected diversion.

He knew that I was not happy discussing the issues at hand.

6. My Dog.

He had whale of a time with our strike.

I must thank him for this dream.

If not for him, I would have forgotten the dream.

He woke me up three times today but I continued to go to sleep mode.

He was checking whether I was dead or not I believe.

Well you do not need a dog to keep you occupied but your doctor friends would have kept you interested in your habits, including financial affairs.

I am ashamed to say none of them sent me even an email, never mind a phone call to see my well-being.

They were busy doing private practice and were really undermining it, expecting to pluck some benefits from the private medical school.

Was it that bad?

YES.

But some of my doctor friends and other friends even visited me from abroad knowing I was at home all the time.

How did you survive?

I used credit cards and they were very generous since the interest is very attractive to the bank and not to me.

I am still trying to make good the outstanding payments.

It is not rosy then.

That is why I told you it was a horrible year.

Interpretation

Then I wanted an interpretation of the dream.

Do you really want it?

Bloody well yes.

He was hesitating.

Then, is it a good year, 2013?

It is not that bad year altogether but future of the university is not going to be good.

Your dream is all about the University which you were a part for long time.

Is it that bad?

YES.

I will put that in a few steps.

STEP 1

It becomes almost like a police academy.

We are already in that framework with lot of imported security officers and guards.

I do not find it that threatening.

It is not like that you will be monitored as suspicious elements in every day of your life.

Even when I go to the loo.

Yes.

Why?

That is they way.

Unless the VC gives all these information to the minister he will be thrown out.

STEP 2

Then it becomes like an academy of army cadets.

In this stage one does not need any academic qualification but only the rank.

STEP 3

Reorganization of all academic activities and is called curriculum reform stage.

In this sage 90% of the departments will closed stating they have no national contribution.

The physical structures and even the land belonging to the university will be sold or vested to outside elements for reorganization purposes.

STEP 4

Recruitment phase

They will now introduce the Entrance Examination conducted by the University itself as was in the past.

It is good know?

Wait till I finish.

Over 90% will be reserved for the University staff holding higher offices, the rest from the minor staff.

It will like the Medial College and Law College of the colonial time.

STEP 5

It is the most interesting phase.

It is called “NO FREE EDUCATION”

Now the officers will sell their allocation for a price like duty-free cars for the highest bidder.

Will they get any education of any worth.

No but they get a certificate of competence after one year, to enter into a foreign (university) country with a proper education system.

How fast will it be, this change?

It will be faster than the way they had the impeachment motion dealt with.

OH, NO.

That is what you call progress.

Then he disappeared in a flash saying see you with the next dream.

He did not give any room for cross-examination of the details.

I have to believe that this will happen in my life time.

I thought for myself.

It is time for me to leave it anyway.